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The Inadvertent Player
by Ask Rob! The Advice General
www.advicegeneral.com
* Rob is not a professional counselor,
just someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and
should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored.
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Dear Rob,
Five years back I got in touch with my old 8th grade friend from
back home. We got in touch through emails and became really good
friends. He used to be affectionate and used to tell me its only
as a degree of affection as a friend. I was like ok.
I visited him and
we met a couple of times when I went back home. Then also he
used to say I love you and I miss you. But every time he used to
say it's only as a friend. I got back and again we were in touch
through emails. Suddenly he changed, started flirting with me so
much. The flirting became so deep that he asked me if I can wait
for 2 years, then he will marry me. I always told him I cannot
commit without my dad's consent and asked him to talk to my dad.
But I clearly
showed back affection and interest towards him. He was like "ya..I'll
talk to your dad and we can marry". For 5 or 6 months this
continued. He talked almost like we were in a relationship One
day, suddenly he changed and started saying that whatever he did
to me is all "legpulling". I was so shocked, cried and asked him
why did he all this to me.
All he was saying
is he just leggpulled. he said he likes me but didn't think
beyond that (like going for a long-time relationship or
marriage). He asked me if I seriously wanna get into a relation
with him. He gave a few days time to think and tell him. I told
yes, and after I told him yes, he was like I also need to think
and decide.
He suggested me
to wait for 6 to 8 months, and he told me we can understand each
other for few months and then decide. I told him ok. After 6
months, He is still not sure about anything, and now he is
saying destiny will decide in the future. I told him clearly
lets quit everything and be good friends.
For that also, he
is not so ready to quit me forever. He still wants me to hang on
to him and saying lets be friends now with out any expectations
and destiny will decide. But I clearly told him to quit
everything. He said he will decide about the quitting and will
tell his decision soon.
I simply couldn't
understand this guys intention? Is he playing with me? Should I
quit him forever? I'm confused.
One thing he
tells me he might not have pulled my legs if he knew that I
liked him in that sense. Did he really do legpulling with me for
5 months? I cannot believe how some one can pull legs for 5
months continuously? Is he lying about legpulling? He also said
he pull his other close female friend legs and those gals never
misunderstood him.
Thanks,
Tina
Hi Tina,
Guys like this act the way they do for two reasons:
1. See how far they can “get” with you when you’re with them,
and;
2. It’s comforting for them to experience “love and affection”
when they are really just waiting for someone better to come
along.
This guy has been playing you, whether he really meant to or
not.
It’s time to not only give him space, but to leave him be.
This is the type of guy that would cheat on you, break up with
you and come crawling back, over and over.
He’s the type that would take you for granted, because you
really would love him and he really hasn’t experienced “love”
for you.
Dump him.
Don’t contact him anymore.
Look for someone that will treat you with respect and real love.
Best wishes,
Rob.
PS.
Guys, deal with your inner wussy by reading the "Double
Your Dating" ebook.
Girls, learn how to deal with this type of guy better and
actually be able to get the right man in your life by reading "Catch
Him & Keep Him".
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