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The Best Online Dating Tip In The World
by Ask Rob! The Advice General
www.advicegeneral.com
* Rob is not a professional counselor,
just someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and
should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored.
He'll give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll
have someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too
judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
Dear Reader,
I’m often asked how someone can improve their online dating
success.
How they can get more responses to their profile.
Why that, even though they’ve tried more than a few online
services over the past couple of months, they aren’t getting any
face-to-face dates.
Why the only replies they’re getting is from foreign women (or
men) that end up asking for money.
And why the people that do send a reply to a message that they
send is often a polite (sometimes not so nice) “Sorry, you’re
not my type” answer.
When I ask to see
the profile they currently have online I oftentimes see:
No photo;
Or a picture that is dark, grainy, poorly lit;
A photo that includes other people, pets, or weird
circumstances.
When the profile asks you to write about yourself I find short
impersonal sentences about themselves in the profile space
provided;
Or corny standard lines that seem to come from a 1940’s movie;
Or almost nothing at all written to describe themselves that
someone reading the profile would be interested in finding out
more.
Where profile space is provided to describe their likes and
dislikes so many things are talked about negatively that the
person seems to be cranky, unfriendly, unadventurous, unromantic
and complaining.
When asked to describe the type of person they want to meet,
either through checkbox selections or a couple of written
paragraphs, the ideal person is a fantasy person, not a flesh
and blood person that also would want to meet you. Options are
so limited in the type of person they are searching for that
almost no one could read it and think themselves suitable to
contact.
Have you seen yourself in the above?
Are you critical enough about yourselves that you can review
your current online dating profile and see how it looks to
visitors to your page?
Sure you are. But first read the tips I have for you, starting
with “The Best Online Dating Tip of the World” is:
Smile.
That’s right, smile. Take a look at the photo you have on your
profile right now and if it’s a smiling shot of your face (head
and shoulders only) that’s well lit, no weird shadows under your
eyes, ears and nose, then fabulous. We’ll have other areas to
work on.
But if your photo isn’t a head and shoulders picture, if you’re
not smiling, if it’s badly lit with shadows across your face
then it’s time to get a new picture. Right? Right!
Do it right now. Or have a friend take a better picture of you
soon and get it online pronto!
And keep in mind, most online dating services offer the
capability of more than one photo, maybe a photo gallery, adding
a video and voice message. Be sure to take advantage of these
extra features where offered. But keep them simple, focused on
yourself, and of course, smile!
Now, let’s talk about how you talk about yourself.
Read this:
Hi, Thanks for visiting with me. I’m a (man/woman) that has
experienced a variety of outdoor activities such as camping,
traveling, hikes and just plain old walking around where I live.
I’m the type that enjoys challenges (non-life threatening of
course!) as well as times that allow me to really unwind, relax
and enjoy someone’s company.
I’m not a complainer, you’ll always enjoy conversations with me
and see that I’m an understanding person, if you are too. Don’t
bring me down!
I’m looking for someone that can share the challenges of life,
leisure time and understands how to move forward with life, not
backwards.
If you’re that person, let’s connect. I look forward to your
message.
Or maybe you’re more like this:
Hi, you’ve found me! And maybe I’ll be able to find you too!
I’m a (man/woman) that likes the “little bit me/ little bit you”
life. I enjoy indoor activities, working out at the gym, hanging
out at home unwinding watching TV after a day of work. I don’t
go out to movies a lot, I prefer to be at home, glass of wine in
my hand, watching the latest releases.
Cooking is a friend to me and no one complains about my homemade
pasta!
I like daytime activities such as shopping, visiting local
places of interest and visiting with friends. In the night I can
usually be persuaded to hit a club or a nice dinner out, as long
as my PVR is working. Haha.
I share, not the bad parts of life, but have the fun joy of
sharing company with someone that can appreciate the good in
life, that doesn’t rant about the bad.
If this is you, I am looking forward to your first message.
Now then, how do those two examples compare to your own profile
introduction?
A lot better, right?
I thought so.
It’s all in the way you open up to bare the bright parts of your
personality. You have to create some interest in the things you
do by explaining, lightly, where you find joy in your own life.
Negativity is not allowed. Ever. Never.
About your likes and dislikes section, or the part where you
describe the ideal person you want to meet in your profile.
Keep it simple, interesting and try to not limit yourself overly
in who/what you are looking for.
I’m not going to tell you not to be too specific if you want to
be but keep this in mind: most people do not see themselves as
you will see them. And you’ll never meet them if you are
seemingly excluding them in the first place. And if you do meet
them, whether through traded messages or in a first/coffee date,
if they are not your type they may know a friend that is.
So keep your likes and dislikes simple.
Generally speaking, of course.
Now: Go Date!
Rob
PS. Guys, want more great tips for using online dating services?
Visit
www.OnlineDatingMadeEasy.com!
Girls, visit:
www.YourFirstMoves.com!
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