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He Flirts But Wants To Stay Single
by Ask Rob! The Advice General
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Dear Rob,
I've become good friends with this guy in such a short period of
time, since the beginning of my school year basically. I've
gotten to know him better and I started having feelings for him.
When I told him about it, he said he didn't want a girlfriend
because this is our last year of high school and he wanted to
have fun. My friends get confused because every time I'm with
him he flirts with me and they think he likes me. I let the
whole "I like him" thing go, I tried moving on and forget
everything.
A few months ago, there was this joke about us sleeping together
when we go to NY with our school, I didn't think he was serious
but he was.
A few days before Valentines day, he said he'd be my boyfriend
for the day because he knew I didn't like that day since I'm
single, and as a joke I said to him "What are you getting me for
Valentine's day?" and he said, a big kiss. Anyways to get to my
point, he kissed me on Valentines day after school but I didn't
think he'd do it.
When I had asked him, "where's my kiss" I was laughing so when
he kissed me I laughed. On instant messenger later that night,
he was complaining because we didn't do it right. He wants to
redo that kiss sometime this week.
I am really confused, I don't know if this guy is just using me
to get in bed with him or if he really likes me.
He talks to me as if he does like me, but then again when I look
at him with other girls, he flirts with them as much as he does
with me. The thing that I don't understand is, why would he kiss
me if I wouldn't mean anything to him? Why would he even want to
redo the kiss? I really like this guy, I don't want to be just a
ticket in bed. Do you think there's any hope or is he just
leading me on?
Thanks, Jill
Hi Jill,
Go with your gut:
He's said that he doesn't want a girlfriend and just wants to
have fun.
This guy won't commit.
He may lie to you and say that he's changed his mind, but
really, he won't/isn't. He may be playing you for sex.
The flirting and everything is because you're a 'safe target'.
He can be "close friends" with you, play around talking in a
sexual way but this won't lead to anything other than him having
a bigger ego, maybe even scoring with you, but in the end you'll
be left behind because he's intent on 'future conquests' that
will be available in his coming years after high school.
It's OK to stay friends with him, but I don't suggest going
beyond that at all.
Unless you're looking for some hurt.
Keep your lips to yourself.
Best wishes,
Rob.
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