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College Dating And Making The First Moves
by Ask Rob! The Advice General
www.advicegeneral.com
* Rob is not a professional counselor,
just someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and
should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored.
He'll give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll
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Hi
Rob,
I'm an 18 year old freshman in college living in the dorms.
Recently, a new
beautiful blonde transfer freshman girl moved onto my floor.
It's the first week, and her and I have already started talking.
I introduced myself to her in the hall the first day I saw her,
and talked to her again later in the day in the hall about how
we ended up at the college we are at.
Today on the way
up the stairs from class she saw me and we started talking, but
like the previous conversations it was quick and casual.
I'm wondering if
there are tips you can give me in regards to talking more and
when and how to "make my move" on her.
Doug
Hi Doug,
I think that you need to connect more still on a personal level.
The rules say:
"Start with a coffee date and good conversation."
You've already opened the door for conversation by doing the
right things:
Positive eye contact;
Confidently introducing yourself;
And giving yourself time to decide on the "right move" to make.
Now you have to
keep her interest high by getting her out with you (yes, a
date!), and keeping things between you fun and relaxed.
Keeping the
conversation shouldn't be hard as long as you follow the rules
of good conversation:
Listen more than you speak;
Ask opened ended questions such as "when, where, how and why";
Keep on topic, don't flake out with changing the subject because
of nervousness;
And, remember what she talks about. These topics of hers are the
keys to her personality, how she handles herself and what you
can expect should the time you spend together continue and
increase.
Dating is
essentially a sharing of time together in situations that allow
people to experience their environments and how they affect
their feelings towards each other.
Plan to plan your
time together, your dates, so that you can have fun together.
Plan to find out what she likes to do and do that. Plan to look
at yourself and share what you feel she will like about you.
Don't go for the loud party atmosphere to count on keeping her
interested in you. Move towards the exciting, out of the
ordinary, one-on-one things you can do, either on or off campus,
that will give you time together, without being in a sexually
charged place, like alone in either of your dorms.
I'm sure that once you've had your opening date(s) you can make
the right plan(s) to have some fun together. That will lead you
to being able to comfortable "making your move" and not being
rejected.
Best wishes,
Rob.
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