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Get His Info And Watch For Opportunity
by Ask Rob! The Advice General
www.advicegeneral.com
* Rob is not a professional counselor,
just someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and
should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored.
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Dear
Rob,
I am a 40 yr. old, divorced single mother. A few months ago I
moved into a new apartment, and there is a guy that lives in the
building that I am interested in getting to know, but I have no
idea how to go about it... or even if I should! ( I don't know
if he has a girlfriend, although I have never seen anyone.)
I do know he is also divorced, and he has two children. I know
this because my landlord's daughter, who is a friend of my
daughters' has talked about him to me. ( I didn't ask! )
Apparently he is good friends with my landlord, and also works
with him. I have thought about asking the landlord, or his wife
something like "So, what's Jeff's story? Does he have a
girlfriend?" But at my age that just sounds a little teenage-ish.
I have never had a conversation with him, we have said hello,
and he always waves and smiles, even when he passes me on the
road! I have tried to "happen" to be outside when I know I may
run into him, but that hasn't worked! What, if anything, should
I do?
"A little out-of-practice"
Hi A Little Out Of Practice,
It's fair to ask around about Jeff's 'situation' before you make
any moves.
This is not teenage behavior unless you stoop to the "does he
like me, I like him" round-robin routine that teens do.
And I say that if he's single, unattached, the next time go
beyond saying hello to him. Ask him about his car, where he gets
it repaired, you're having trouble with yours. Something like
that.
Maybe you need a quick hand getting something off a high shelf
in your apartment. Something funny like changing an out of reach
light bulb. You know what I mean, right?
Open the lines of communication. Don't be afraid of making the
first contact moves to get a conversation going.
After two or three of these mini-conversations if he doesn't ask
you out for a coffee, you go ahead and do it. Say to him "I
could use a break, would you like to go to XXX place for coffee
in half an hour?"
No matter your age, asking people in the know about someone's
personal relationship status, and I mean only asking if they are
single or not, is OK to do. Just don't get snoopy or to
inquisitive.
Having the courage to initiate contact with someone is hard.
Losing out on what could be a great experience or relationship
is a downright shame.
Best wishes,
Rob.
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