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The
Selfish Husband
by Ask Rob! The Advice General
www.advicegeneral.com
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Hi Rob,
I have a question. I am a married woman... married for 3.5
years, and my husband and I are like no other married couple. We
have sex about once every 2 months. (and I am the type that
LOVES sex.. lots of sex lots of ways).
My husband is
more conservative. I feel that sex is a huge part of a marriage,
or any real relationship for that matter. We have talked about
our lack of intimacy and we make lots of promises that are not
met, (both of us, not just him). I lack daily compassion,
apparently. He wants me to hug on him and be excited to see him
everyday and give him lots of kisses, (he doesn't do this stuff
very often, mind you.
But he wants me
to. To be honest, I HATE the way he kisses. Mouth WAY to far
open.. open so far it blocks my nostrils. He also breathes
through his mouth while doing this. What type of person would
want to kiss someone like that. My problem is, we are married.
I do not desire a
divorce. We have 2 kids, 2 cars and a new beautiful home and it
would be a huge hassle I think to divorce. But I can't live like
this. I have only told you the tip of the iceberg...
My question is,
how do you deal with something like this? And how do you tell a
sensitive man that feels that he is a good kisser, that he is a
bad kisser? A horrible kisser! Help please!!
Chris
Hi Chris,
It's a fact that marriage does not mean you have great
communication. You are not instantly the 'best lover' simply
because you're married.
You need to be open, communicate, show affection and be
reasonable about the demands that you place on each other.
You cannot ask without giving and this is applicable in
marriage, the bedroom, in all facets of our daily lives. There
is no room for selfishness.
Since you have attempted to open these lines of communication by
talking about what you feel are shortcomings on your husband's
part and you realize where your own shortcomings are, I'd
suggest looking to get some tips on opening communication
through other ways.
Get some "love cards" that are notes you can leave each other
every day or two.
Get some adult games that allow you to be instructed on what to
do in the bedroom.
And, most of all, be honest with your husband. If you don't like
his kisses, teach him how you want to be kissed. If he's so
self-conscious about being told what to do, sexually, you're in
for a long haul and counseling should be started ASAP. If he
won't go, you need to start alone. But I hope that he's willing
to learn, for your sake and his.
Guys that want to make their partners happy are willing to learn
what it takes. Guys that are selfish aren't willing to accept
that they don't pleasure their women and they should be left
alone. Cut off from sex until they can accept that what they do
isn't what you want, sexually.
Showing affection on a daily basis should not be a hardship. A
hug, an "I love you", a special treat purchased for your partner
when you go shopping... all of these are small tokens of
affection that go a long way in keeping love alive.
Best wishes,
Rob.
>> More Articles
Additional
Information:
I have recently come across an online ebook, "1000 Questions For
Couples" that fits the bill in helping couples start the process
of communication and rediscovery. While the ebook also deals
with dating, there are more than 700 questions that couples can
ask each other to learn more about their desires, their needs
and their wants in each other. It's a great ebook to get
you started on the road to a better relationship. And since it's
an ebook, you order online, and you can start reading it in the
privacy of your own home or office in just minutes.
"1000
Questions For Couples" information and ordering here.
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