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Am I A
"Friend With Benefits" Or Dating This Guy?
by Ask Rob! The Advice General
www.advicegeneral.com
* Rob is not a professional counselor,
just someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and
should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored.
He'll give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll
have someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too
judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
Hi Rob,
I have been seeing Charlie* for about 5 months. Charlie* is and
engineer and works late, which means its hard to see him
regularly because of late shifts. Usually on his early days or
days off we'll get together for dinner or a drink. This results
in an over night stay at his place. We have been sleeping
together sexually for about 3 months and it is monogamous. I
told him that I am attracted to him and his response was "I'm
not looking to be in a relationship right now, but I am
interested in you." What's that mean and how am I supposed to
act towards him?
I took the comment as us being friends with benefits. But
friends don't pay for dinner or drinks every time and refuse to
take money when someone offers to help out with the bill. I am
very confused with how he treats me. I am really into Charlie*
and don't understand why he doesn't want to be in a relationship
with me. I'm not pushy with it but I need a mans advice on what
to in a situation like this. Do I stick around and wait for him
to see that I am relationship material or what? Or is it a lost
cause and should I just remain friends?
-In a dilemma
Hi dilemma,
He won't change, you need to.
Change boyfriends, that is.
And I wouldn't even call him about it. You can be his big loss.
Guys that have 'friends with benefits' are the biggest users
around. They get everything they want/need without caring how
the other person actually feels. I bet you've had many sleepless
nights wondering what's going on while he beside you snoring
away.
As for him paying the bills, that can be one of two things:
he realizes that he makes more money than you, so he pays, or
he figures it's the least that he can do, to keep the benefits
rolling in (without realizing that he's practically prostituting
you!)
You need to end this and find someone to settle down with,
pronto.
Best wishes,
Rob.
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